


Heather's Finishing School For Flirting Failures

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Bad Flirting, Exasperated Heather, F/F, Flirting Lessons, Language of Flowers, Mentor/Protégé, Reunions, WLW Disaster Soleil, earned happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: Soleil doesn'tmeanto be a disaster, but Heather's tired of watching her fail so consistently. It's time to take matters into her own hands.





	Heather's Finishing School For Flirting Failures

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** Heather, Soleil / Any – Heather, exasperated with her fellow WLW's poor flirting techniques, teaches her how to flirt.

At first, it had been a little amusing, but now it was just exasperating and Heather didn't know how much more she could take.

In the span of just this morning, she'd seen wide-eyed little Florina go _eeek!_ and hide behind Lyn, the prim and proper Maribelle turn into a snarling beast ranting about how Lissa was _hers, hers, and only hers, so back off, you tactless child!_ , the sexy Sylvia giggle _sorry, I'm straight_ and clutch that troublesome bard's arm (such a waste, Heather thought ruefully), and just now a disinterested Lute roll her eyes and stomp off.

The mercenary known as Soleil was a disaster. Not the cute little gay disaster whose failure was so endearing you wanted to pick her up and take her home, but a flat-out disaster who was going to end up forever alone with only kitten posters to keep her company if she didn't shape up.

When Heather was summoned to Askr, she'd intended to swindle a bunch of gullible men out of their gold and treat Nephenee to a romantic dinner once she could _find_ her cute little farmgirl. But so far there was no sign of Nephenee, so Heather was going to make it her mission to teach this little disaster how to flirt _properly._

She found Soleil alone by the gardens, still sulking over her failures. It was hard not to feel sorry for the girl, it was obvious she didn't mean any harm and just wanted to get to know pretty girls. She just had the misfortune of going after the taken ones, the straight ones, or just plain turning them off with her terrible pickup lines.

_Gotta wonder who she learned from in the past to fail so hard._ Well, it was time for her to un-learn it. Heather sat down next to the girl and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Oh...you're the lovely and charming rogue, Heather." Soleil gave her barely a glance before turning away. "It's...an honor that you're talking to me! Really!" Strange, Heather thought, she sounded _nervous_ now. Nothing like the overconfident ladykiller she was trying to be earlier.

"Listen, I want to help you," Heather said. "I saw everything earlier." Part of her had wanted to ease into the subject carefully, because Heather herself had once been _almost_ as useless a flirt as this girl once. But in cases like this it was best to just rip off the bandage. Soleil turned red, crossing her arms defensively over her chest.

"W-well, today was just a bad day! I've gotten plenty of dates back home!" she insisted. "I got a girl to watch the stars with me once!"

"Really?" Heather shrugged. "Well, whatever you did back home obviously isn't working here. Today alone you've had four girls shoot you down."

"Hey, only three! I bet Lady Lissa would've said yes if-"

"No she wouldn't. Trust me," Heather said. "Now first and foremost, are you just looking for a date or something more?" Soleil blushed, turned away for a moment, then slowly looked back at her.

"Well...there _is_ someone I've kinda had my eye on for a while," she murmured. "I don't think she likes me, though. She doesn't talk to me and anytime we've worked together she kept _cringing!_ " She pouted. "I don't get it! Are my sword skills that bad? Or my battle cries? Or is she just mad that I didn't name my weapon?" And Heather's mind flashed to a girl who looked quite a bit like Lady Lissa, right down to her standing pose and the wave of her hair.

"You mean that Odin guy's kid, don't you?"

"Yeah." Soleil sighed. "Ophelia's so _beautiful_ and _energetic_ and everything I could want in a partner. But she's always off in her own little world, and there's no room for me in there," she said. "Worse, her dad and mine are the best of friends. They tease each other a lot, but they'd do anything for each other. My dad once stopped hers from sacrificing his _life_ and they've never forgotten it!"

That did sound like quite the epic partnership, Heather thought, even if it _was_ awfully dramatic. Nephenee'd saved her hide more than once in a few battles, and she'd distracted a few enemies so Nephenee could cut them down, but it sounded like Soleil had some pretty lofty expectations.

"You've barely even talked to her and you're practically a few steps away from making wedding plans," she said. "Why don't you start off with trying to get a relationship going first?"

"I-I know that! But it's a good thing to have a goal, right? To know what you want?"

"Well, yeah, but like a certain famgirl says, you can't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't count your chickens before they hatch and all that." Heather smiled, patting the girl's shoulder. "Look, I can help you. I'll show you the _right_ way to flirt, and with any luck this girl will go for it," she said.

"Really?" Soleil's eyes lit up with hope. "Oh, I'd be _honored_ to take lessons from the most beautiful rogue in all of Askr! I've seen the way girls look at you, if there's anyone who can help me get better it's you!" Heather chuckled.

"Right! Welcome to Heather's Finishing School for Flirting Failures!" Surely that pouting red-haired mercenary wouldn't mind her borrowing parts of the name for a while. _It didn't turn that knight into a lady, but it brought them closer. And that's what I'm aiming for with Soleil and the lovely Ophelia, so..._

"I'm ready anytime, teacher!" Soleil said cheerfully.

"Okay, then. Step one: subtlety is your friend," Heather began. "Not _too_ subtle, obviously, but...here, try one of your lines on me."

"Um, okay!" Soleil cleared her throat. "Mmmm, my darling wildflower Heather, you're sure looking especially cute today. Come into my arms and let me whisper sweet nothings into your pretty little ears..." She was moving closer and closer, arms spread wide, ready to ensnare their target. "You know we're destined to-"

"Stop." Heather backed away. "I don't even know where to begin with that. Flowers? Really?" Soleil turned red.

"Dad used to call women flowers all the time," she muttered.

"But did it work?" Heather asked. Soleil tucked her head down, whimpering with embarrassment.

"Not really. In fact, he couldn't get a girl until he met my mom. And she's cute, but she'd probably stab anyone who tried to call her a flower," she muttered.

"So shouldn't that be a sign that _maybe_ you shouldn't try to copy your dad's style from when he was younger?" Heather prompted.

"He said that was how Grandma taught him to talk to people when he was little," Soleil explained quietly. "Except she learned it from a friend who accidentally taught her how to hit on people. I thought he was just kidding, cause Grandma's always been kinda shy." She smiled a little. "He once said it was a wonder she and Grandpa managed to have him." Heather snorted.

"So basically you came from a family of shrinking violets. I guess that explains the flower bit, but still, it's really a bad idea. Don't do it," she said. "Now, back to the rest of that line. It's creepy. I know you're just looking to cuddle and be romantic, but it's hard to believe that when you're reaching out to _grab_ the girl without asking."

"Ohhhh." Soleil shuffled her feet. "Is that why Florina screamed?"

"Pretty much! Here, I'll give you some better lines to work with, and we'll practice keeping a good distance away from the girl instead of turning into a Cuddle Monster right away," Heather said.

She'd get to the part about Soleil trying to hit on Ophelia's grandmother later. Even if time worked differently in Askr and Soleil was no stranger to timey-wimey crap, the idea was still fairly _eugh._. It was a good thing Maribelle showed up when she did!

The whole day was spent teaching Soleil. It was a bit tiring and frustrating, but Soleil was very open about her family history and how much she admired her father for overcoming his shyness. Heather could at least _understand_ why she'd want to be like him, even if it was a bad idea.

But by evening, Soleil had learned the concept of personal space and had ditched the flower motifs. She was far from a perfect flirt, but she'd at least caught on what _not_ to say and do. A little stammering or lip-biting or hair-twirling was no big deal. Ophelia might even find it cute.

_I know I do,_ Heather thought, sighing wistfully at the memory of green hair, shy eyes, and long, muscular legs. _C'mon, Nephy, you've gotta be around here somewhere._

"Okay, I think you're ready!" she announced. Soleil glanced around the garden.

"Can I at least _give_ her a flower? Not a rose, but just something nice?" Heather shrugged.

"Why not? Nothing wrong with a flower as long as you're not comparing her to one." Grinning, Soleil plucked a white violet from one of the bushes and tied a ribbon around it, holding it carefully.

"Okay! I think I know where she is," she said. "Um, can you..."

"Stay near by in case you need help? I'd be a pretty irresponsible teacher not to," Heather said. They made their way to the observatory area, where Ophelia sat entranced by the night sky as usual. Heather watched from a safe distance as Soleil approached slowly, asked politely if she could sit down, and Ophelia said yes despite her surprise.

So far, so good.

"Here," Soleil said. "I...found this, and I thought you might like it." Ophelia took it, gazed at it, and Heather saw a shy smile cross her face. She watched Ophelia untie the ribbon and tuck the flower behind her ear...and then, tie the ribbon around Soleil's wrist.

"Keep it. Red looks better on you than it does on me."

"Oh!" Soleil was blushing now, and Heather prayed she didn't accidentally blow the whole thing. "Er, thank you! Um..." She was fumbling for the acceptable lines Heather had taught her, looking almost panicked. Heather had to restrain herself from sneaking over to feed them to her.

"Yes?" Ophelia asked.

"Your fighting style is lovely, Ophelia, almost as lovely as you! I'd be honored if we could be partners from now on, I'd do anything to aid someone like you!" Soleil finally said. Ophelia was quiet, looking rather taken off-guard, and Soleil looked tense and afraid.

_If she blows this, I'm locking her in a room and we're not coming out until she's an expert,_ Heather thought. But to her relief, Ophelia smiled.

"And I would be honored to fight alongside someone as earnest as you!" she proclaimed. "The stars told me I'd find someone special today, and she's been right beside me all along!" Soleil exhaled a huge sigh of relief, and the two girls embraced, laughing happily. Heather let out the deep breath she'd been holding.

_Thank Ashera!_

Leaving the two lovebirds alone, she wandered back to the front hall of the castle. On the way, though, she bumped into a familiar face.

"H-Heather? That you?" And Heather's exhausted heart soared at the familiar country accent. She flung her arms around Nephenee, laughing happily.

"Where _were_ you?!"

"I just got here," Nephenee murmured, face nestled against her shoulder. "I was about to look for ya, actually, but y'found me instead." She smiled a little. "What's been goin' on? You look like you've had a day." Heather shook her head, laughing as she lead Nephenee to one of the spare rooms. This, she decided, must be her reward for turning a colossal failure into a moderate success.

"It's a _long_ story."

**Author's Note:**

> Soleil's summoning point comes before her supports with Ophelia, so she gets a chance to do it right from the outset. The title is a reference to the Severa/Kjelle supports.
> 
> For those interested in the lineage: Lon'qu/Olivia -> Laslow/Peri -> Soleil. Maribelle/Lissa magical fempreg -> Odin/Elise -> Ophelia.
> 
> No, Heather isn't in Heroes yet, but someday. SOMEDAY.


End file.
